Limerick List

Thanks for all the submissions - here are just some of our favourites.

(Tell us which you like best at this poll)

1

There once was a caveman named Brady
Who said, “Maryland’s flag drives me crazy!”
“I think it’s okay,”
Said the robot called Grey,
“It’s so bad that it might just amaze me.”

There once was a doctor called Brady,
(this one was a man; not a lady)
He may be the cleverest
To have visited Everest,
Though Grey finds that claim rather shady!

Hello Internet held an election,
For a flag worthy of our affection,
We chose nail and gear,
The loyal Tims cheer,
Flaggy flag rebels cry "insurrection!"

On a quest for a great pseudonym,
Dr Haran went out on a limb,
Made of metal and wheels,
His friend also feels,
The best listeners should all be called Tim

There once was a robot called Grey
And you might find it odd when I say
Though he loved automation,
flags and education
He always led Brady astray

My day had been fairly mundane
When HI started up in my brain.
So I jumped to my feet,
thought: “I must send a tweet!”
“@bradyharan - I’m not on a plane.”

They may both have a passion for flagging
And some freebooting had their hearts sagging
ut when they asked around
They surprisingly found
That they're known for the term humblebragging

Brady was brushing his teeth
With a toothbrush with bristles of heath
A crack interrupted
And splinters erupted
And his mouth did resemble a wreath

I am sorry I've been such a grump
To be honest I feel like a chump
But I hope you can see
that it's not you, it's me
I'm in love with the Mighty Black Stump

Brady takes this ridiculous show
To places it never should go
From swamp hens to rice rats
And cricketers' nice bats
Grey's always the last one to know

I have a message for Grey
I want him to see what I say
But I know he won't read it
He'll simply delete it
But Brady might send it his way...

Brady's biggest fan is a duck,
Who finds himself bang out of luck,
You're reading this Grey,
As Brady can't say
The Limerick ending with f**k.

Grey we hope you will never be parted,
From your cohost, an imp but kindhearted.
And we know you don't like
Brady touching his mic
But at least he has never yet farted.

Hotstoppers are FUN don't you see?
They're more than just plastic to me
A man quickly learns
From his third degree burns
That it's no fun to wait in A&E

Freebooted content's for jerks,
It sucks to steal people's hard work.
It bums YouTubers each day,
Like Brady and Grey,
And Henry and Michael and Dirk.

There once was an Adelaide man
Who came up with the naughtiest plan,
Through the protests of Grey,
“Limericks, Hooray!”
And then with this concept he ran.

There once was a fellow named Tim
Who downloaded H.I. on a whim.
As he sat on his flight,
He received quite a fright:
Plane crash corner was mentioning him!

01001000
01001001
But Grey, what does that mean?
My mind is not a machine
00111111

Sadly I'm filled with regret,
That my needs just haven't been met,
I'm a tactical shopper
Who wants a hot stopper,
So now I get coffee from Pret.

Over an endless horizon a plane flies.
It’s been diverted to Dulles, Grey cries.
An airport so boring,
Grey’s already snoring,
Dreaming of Brady as he closes his eyes.

For a linguist, I tend to bumble;
Over English I often tumble,
But despite the nice term —
Even I can confirm,
You’ll never advance the brag-humble.

There once was a teacher called Grey,
Who decided to quit one day.
He packed up his chalk,
And he took a short walk,
To his auto, which drove him away!

There once was an Aussie named Brady
Who had the same name as a lady
Met a Yankee called Grey
And said to him hey
Let's talk on the internet maybe

But within that strange microwave lay
A twist set to ruin his day
His plans were defeated
The brew superheated!
And made quite the "Graey's Hand" sautée

For any would-be ballot stuffer
Referendum by postcard is tougher
But a quick offline poll
Spiralled out of control
And for this postal workers did suffer

The county flags of Liberia
Were so bad they gave me listeria
I had my last meal
Read Guns Germs and Steel
And died from plane crash hysteria

Some words come from Latin or Greek
but some, from an ambitious geek
"hotstopper" is cute
and so is "freeboot"
but "brag humble" seems pretty weak

Brady surprised Grey with a ticket
To see a test match of cricket.
But when he tried to explain
The rules of the game,
He was dismissed leg before wicket.

Four thousand two hundred nine
Is the number of videos, you'll find
That Grey needs to release
By the end of next week
To only be slightly behind